Let me preface this by saying that I know I’ve only been married for about two years. I’m still a youngin’. A lot of people would probably say we’re still in the “honeymoon” phase and haven’t really experienced the rough patches of marriage. And honestly, I think your honeymoon can last forever if you make the effort, some days being more exciting than others. We’ve both walked through our own valleys and learned how to help the other carry their cross. I’ve learned more of his flaws and he’s learned more of mine. I’ve also fallen in love with new parts of him that have changed over the past couple years. You probably won’t believe me but when I look at him like Jesus looks at us I fall in love with him more because of his flaws. I see how much of a fighter he is when he is at his lowest and I crave his joy when he is inspired by something small. When he sins my heart breaks right along with his and I remind him not to let the devil win. When I break down he makes me look him in the eyes and pour my heart out instead of keeping it to myself. I’ve practiced quick forgiveness and slow anger with him but even when I fail and take out my anger on him he forgives me soon after with those sweet eyes that love me despite my ugly parts. I feel like I have been able to put “living like Jesus” into action more in my marriage than ever before in my life. I am no expert of love but I am a follower of the creator of love Himself. Marriage has helped me to see and understand Jesus more clearly and has helped me to feel and accept a love that both breaks and grows my heart. I break when Sam breaks and my heart grows when I see him thrive. I love it all-the breaking and the blooming of my heart for my husband.
We are not perfect, but we have a perfect God who teaches us how to love each other. And how did Jesus love?
He paid attention to even the smallest of actions (Luke 8:45), He chose to stand beside a sinner caught in the act and defend her instead of throwing stones (John 8:7), He felt pain with the people he loved around him (John 11:35), He showed devotion and served his friends (John 13:5), He had beautiful plans even for the most ordinary of people (Ruth), He craved a deep relationship with his people that was alluring, rich and intimate (Hosea 2:14-20), He was obedient even when it hurt (Luke 22:42, John 3:16), He never leaves us (Matthew 28:20), last but not least; nothing could ever make Him stop loving us (Romans 8:38-39).
That is the kind of love that Sam and I need and want in our marriage and we fight for it every day. The way Sam loves me has helped me to feel the overwhelming love of God more in these past two years than ever in my life and I can’t wait to see how much it will grow in the years to come. Jesus showed us an unstoppable and undying love that is unconditional and selfless. When we take every story and life-changing moment when Jesus showed us the most perfect example of love and show that same love to our spouse, marriage will make you thrive and abide like never before.
If the love you’re trying to imitate towards each other is the same love that defeated the grave, your marriage will be the most beautiful and breathtaking gift that stands firm on holy ground.